Thoughts over breakfast

A week ago I was asked to do a short 5 minutes talk at my Church Women's Breakfast.
Here it is -

Last year I learnt about my identity and who I was In god.
This year I am learning about walking in faith, trusting in god rather than my own understanding.
I am being stretch and as I'm being stretched I am learning more and more to trust in my father.
Before in the natural when I was stretched and trying to organise everything I just felt like I let everyone down. I got stressed.
I wanted perfection.
But there is only perfect perfection in trusting in god.
He guides me to what is important  and the things that aren't just fall to the wayside.
As I am being stretched he has enlarged my capacity to cope.
I get so much more done and I don't know how.
I get to do fun stuff with my kids as well as do all the important things that I need to do.
Christmas is a really important time for me. Not just because Christ was born.
We all have our favourite seasons. Some Sun worshippers, some autumn. I love Christmas. Even when I was little I loved it even when it was difficult because of family reasons I saw the good and remember the exciting parts and traditions above anything else.
This Christmas is probably the most challenging one of all.
God has stripped it right back for me and I am having to learn to trust his above all else.
The super organised part of me (which is a lot) is having to learn to adapt, adjust, be patient. And with all this not worry about that too.
I am way out of my comfort zone.
I don't like it.
I'm nervous.
I want to run back into my comfort zone
Bit if I did that would be avoiding change and god encourages change
Over this time (and I'm still going through it) God has been reminding me so much about the walls of Jericho.
Come on keep coming back and praying. Don't stop on your first trip around, keep walking, keep praying and I will be there to stretch and enlarge your capacity.
They didn't know that they would have to walk around 7 times they just kept walking.
And that's what I need to do. Keep walking, keep shouting out to God
And he will give me enough to cope with and keep enlarging me so I can cope with it.
Now I'm not a morning person.
I hate talking in the morning, the kids wake me up far too early. I have never been a morning person.
But I wrote this at 6.45, whilst I was in bed.
I don't remember picking up my phone and opening my notes.
I don't do things last minute. Down to the wire.
But god has asked me to trust in him.
I didn't know when or how I was going to do it.
But by trusting in god. Praying, walking and praying around Jericho
Things happen on god that in the natural you never thought you could do.
But in the supernatural is possible

Scary Stuff

As a Christian I was brought up knowing that Halloween was something that we did not celebrate.
I never found it difficult not too. It really wasn't a bit thing when I was small.
As a early teenager I remember locking the door and my parents telling me not to open it unless it was them.
I also remember one time, a member of our church went to a Halloween party and he was very frowned upon.

This is why I hate Halloween -

• Dressing up hides the fact that you are celebrating a ungodly event
• Why would you want to be scared?
• Trick or treat's in this country

Let me address these.

Children are encouraged to dress up, as its fun, to support the greater evil.
Ok, ok, don't get me wrong. I love fancy dress. I hear so often "what's the harm", "its only a bit of fun".
I am no killjoy but I just don't believe in a night celebrating death and destruction. Everything is harmless once.
Why would I want my children dressing up in scary stuff. They are children. I do not allow them to watch scary movies.
As a Christian I am careful what I feed into their heads. I am very away, from personal experience, what seeing a bit of a scary movie can do.
My daughter is particularly sensitive. And in no way do I want to put them in a position where either of them are effected by seeing something scary.



Why is 'being scared' fun?
Is It the adrenalin?. I don't know. I hate being scared. I don't know why you would want to put your young children in a position where they 'fear'.
Aren't we as parents supposed to protect our children.
Doesn't God protect his children. Yes.
There is no fear in Christ and therefore we should stand firm and not be afraid.
Putting yourself, or your child in a position when potentially they could be afraid is a big no no.

Now I come to the 'trick or treat'
And this is entirely my own opinion but teenagers take trick and treating to the extreme.
Last year, I didn't open my door but I managed to have egg and flour caked on my windows and door.
They didn't even ring the bell.
It seems to me that they take this night as an opportunity to reek havoc.
I have seen some teenagers with tights on their heads dressed up as bank robbers, or muggers. How is this supposed to make someone feel when they are walking home from work......... terrified that's what.
This night is the one night that they feel that they can pretty much get away with stuff and scare as many people as possible....... as its funny.

I am tired of feeling that I can not leave my house on this particular night every year, just in case.
I am tired of people taking advantage of this night and vulnerable people, just to get there kicks.
The sooner this month is over the better as far as I am concerned.

The place i hate the most.

For me the drop off and pick up times at school are the hardest part of my day. I can't even explain how I feel about it but came across this article today that sums it up pretty well.
Have a read.


Playground politics for adults

Jemima looks miserable. ‘When I wake up and it’s a school day my heart sinks,’ she says. ‘I just don’t fit in. I know it and they know it…’ So what should Jemima do? Tell a teacher? Talk to a parent?
Unfortunately, Jemima is the parent, and one of a growing number of adults discovering that relations between parents at school can be as disturbingly reminiscent of Lord Of The Flies as those between their offspring.
‘I can’t tell you how much I hate that playground,’ says Liz, mother of Karen, four, and Luke, seven. ‘There are the yummy mummies air-kissing in one corner, while the stay-at-home worthies gaze pityingly at you because you’ve obviously dashed straight out of a meeting to pick up your kids. And if you don’t belong to one of the established clans, you just drift around on the outskirts feeling like a leper.’
The more parents I’ve talked to, the more it’s clear that these experiences, while often taboo, aren’t unique. The stories I’ve heard have more in common with some of the nastier behaviours witnessed between teenage girls — the spreading of rumours, alliance building, back-stabbing, social exclusion and the ignoring of unpopular peers. ‘It’s astonishing how bitchy parents can be about one another,’ says Megan, mother of teenagers Dan and William. ‘Maybe it is something about revisiting your own school days — a sort of mass regression — but it’s hard not to get caught up in it.’
We know that groups of all kinds can exert a powerful undertow on our dealings with each other. Back in 1954, psychologist Muzafer and colleagues randomly assigned 24 boys to two groups in a camp run at the Robbers Cave State Park in Oklahoma. When, a few days later, the experimenters pitched the ‘Rattlers’ and the ‘Eagles’ (as they had christened themselves) against each other in ‘friendly’ competition, relations between the two gangs rapidly degenerated into something pretty ugly. There was name-calling, repeated raids on the rival camp, and children holding their noses when in contact with members of the other gang. The experimenters feared the boys would come to blows. As team identity grew stronger, antipathy towards the rival group increased.
Yet even though we know that such group dynamics exist, why should school in particular stir up such primal emotions and immature behaviour among adults old enough to rise above it?
At one level, Megan is probably right: the distinctive sights and sounds of the schoolyard may well act as evocative cues of childhood memories, triggering our old patterns of playground conduct. Yet we’re also more likely to form cliques when we’re anxious — and there are several reasons why our children’s schooldays can leave us feeling vulnerable.
For a start, there’s a strong cultural belief that how our children behave reflects directly on our parenting of them. So as our sons and daughters take their first independent steps in such a public forum, we nervously anticipate the judgments that may be passed upon us. If you let it, the playground can breed paranoia. Under such circumstances, who can blame us for retreating into the familiar huddle of friends who make us feel more secure?
Until your child starts school, he or she has probably also moved almost exclusively in circles that reflect your own values and lifestyle choices. But the moment you hand them over in reception all that changes. Our unconscious, anxiety-ridden realisation that our precious baby is going to be moving among them as opposed to us can lead us to seek out and cling to other parents with whom we feel we have something in common. Moreover, as the Robbers Cave experiment demonstrates, attacking a rival group is a convenient way to reinforce clan solidarity.
Marie, a solicitor and single parent, describes ‘an invisible apartheid’ at her children’s school between the mothers in paid employment and those working in the home. ‘Once, a woman I barely knew came up to me and told me how sorry she felt for me that I was going to miss out on so much of Gracie’s formative years. It was a cruel thing to say, but it was disguised as a considerate comment. I couldn’t have been more taken aback.’
Marie’s experience highlights a key factor that perpetuates the tensions between parents; although undercurrents of anxiety, aggression and resentment exist, they can rarely be publicly owned — and the result is that they are often buried, only to seep out in subtle but nonetheless destructive ways.
It is only natural for us to be invested in our children but unspoken competition can easily contaminate parental relationships. While your friend’s child’s excellent SATS results, solo in the school Christmas concert or inclusion in the school football team may afford you genuine pleasure, it is difficult not to feel a stab of jealousy if your own child is struggling.

Similarly, our close identification with our children means we can feel every trivial snub and jibe our kids experience all too keenly, and when another child is making our own miserable it can bring out the raging lioness (or lion) in all of us. At such times, wounded families inevitably close protectively around their respective member, regardless of fault, rallying the support of available friends and peers to their cause. Rumours are spread, clan loyalties invoked and sides taken.
At this point, you may be feeling that it’s easiest to avoid the playground fray altogether. But even this can be a risky strategy, because the quality of our children’s social lives is so tightly bound up with our ability to stay on good terms with their friends’ parents. It is painful for all concerned to discover on the grapevine that your child is the only one not to have been invited to that birthday party.
This fundamental dependency can be exploited by those seeking positions of influence within various parental clans. Author Rosalind suggests that at the centre of many such networks you will often find the ‘queen bee mum’ who uses a mix of social intelligence and charm to extend her power base. Embodying the cultural and aspirational ideals of the group, such figures are often revered by their followers but can be highly controlling and ruthless if their dominance is challenged.

Of course, groups can bring out the best in us as well as the worst. Relationships forged between adults during our children’s schooldays often yield true, lasting and supportive friendships and schools can become warm, vibrant communities. However, it may be time we also acknowledged some of the psychological tensions of the playground — it might just be the first step towards making it an emotionally safer environment for both our children and ourselves.

Blackberry Picking

Jammy fingers

Stinging nettle spots

Sticky things to put in pots

 

Welly boots

Knee high socks

Hair in twigs and knots

 

Brambles and spikes

Sticks and feathers

Fun and smiling get togethers

 

Scrapped knees

Plaster and a kiss

No red, a near miss

 

Holding hands

Giggles and skipping

Be careful, no more tripping

 

Purple lipstick

Sweet and fruity smells

Whispering distant church bells

 

Grass and big oaks

Seeking and hiding

Ready or not calling is asking

 

Travelling home

Smiles on sleepy faces

Holiday fun at the best places

All day long - Why

Did you have a nice sleep – you say why

Eat all your breakfast – you say why

I need to scrub your face – you say why

What do you want to do today – you say why why why

 

Go make your bed – you say why

Flush the toilet – you say why

Clean your teeth – you say why

I ask a question – you say why why why

 

 

Put on your shoes – you say why

We need to go to the shops – you say why

I ask you to do something – you say why

Grab your coat – you say why why why

 

You look cute today – you say why

Eat your lunch – you say why

Do you want pudding – you say why

I’ve had enough – you say why why why

 

Time for bed – you say why

Wash your face – you say why

Time for prayers – you say why

Kiss you goodnight – you say why why why

A poem i just wrote

End of the Summer

 

 

Get down from breakfast if you’re going to mess around

Go get dressed as I hear giggles up the stairs

Are you dressed yet and a no is echoing

Clean your teeth I am shouting again.

 

Have you cleaned you teeth – let me check

What up with you hair – has it seen a brush

I’m sitting here tired – there is no rush

When your under 5 and love your toothbrush

 

Stop that

Put it away

Pick it up

Not that way

Eat your food – don’t play with it

When you’re under 5 and mummy’s losing it

 

My name is Mummy

It’s pretty crummy

I’m far from yummy with fish finger in my hair

I want to be scrummy

But it’s all just too funny

When you’re under 5 with time to spare

 

 

 

Time is slipping by your still upstairs

Naked and playing with your racing cars

I’m still in my jammies scrubbing at cereal

I feel I am slipping and shaking at these bars

 

School days are fast approaching

Name labels have been sewn

I see my life coming closer and closer

All order have been blown

 

NO, 8am is far too early for chocolate as I sneak a Twix in my gown

Toilet paper all over the floor like some collage end of year dorm

I wiped my bottom on my own!, I see the wee one grin

Is it too early and will anyone notice if I take a gulp of the gin

Camping it

Up early and car packed ready to go to the Carfest festival.
Husband left earlier with the girlie and has already pitched our 6 man tent. I am going to drive on down in an hour.
I actually hate driving places that I don't really know how to get you. My phone mapping system has been set so I think I am ready. If I do get lost at least I can phone team 1 up.

We went last year to the festival. It was the first year they started up. We stayed in a 3 man tent.... the 4 of us.
We lasted one night and it was probably one of the worst night sleeps I have had with the girl taking up all the room and the little boy squashing his sweaty body up to me.
The husband had to sleep on the floor.
We had such a great time though (with bagging some cheap tickets off ebay) that we decided to go again.

As per ususal the woman has been left to do all the packing.
However, I don't like slumming it anymore so have packed more than enough creature comforts as well as some extras including - smores, games, pillow, toilet wipes and toilet seat covers.
Even though I love camping..... I hate germs. And when you are camping not everyone is super hygienic.

As well as cars (which the boys love) Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood will be there. And some ace bands.

Right I must go. Got to pack the frozen stuff.

Can't sleep, won't sleep

Not sure why I feel so unsettled at night recently.
I wake up, and spend a few hours with my mind just racing along with my body like a led weight from exhaustion.
My husband is away on business and has taken my little boy with him. They have gone to Manchester for 3 nights.
Since that is where my husband is from, my boy gets to spend some time staying at his Grandparents house.

I have complete mixed emotions about this. Where I know he is having a great time.
I feel as though I am missing a limb:(.
I miss him terribly, he is my baby and I guess always will.
The first night he called I was swallowing back the tears so he couldn't hear that I was upset.

On the upside I have had 4 days to spend with my girlie which was much needed.
I rarely get to spend quality time with her now that she has started school.
The last year has been a whirlwind of school uniform, packet lunches and homework.
And even though homework (reading) has supplied it's own daughter/daddy time.
I have been pushed aside to be the organiser.
Something I thrive on but have missed out on some one to one.

So the last 3 days have been filled with - tickles, cake, sweets, shopping, art, chick flick, snuggles in bed, hair dresser, smelly shopping, lunch and giggles.

And though I am looking forward to having my noisy, cuddly boy home.
I feel I have laid down some really great foundations.

A Part of me

Its interesting but over the past year I have really been discovering my Identity and different parts of who I am and why.
Some of this is due to me completing year one in Faithworks bible college and the other is what we study in church on a Sunday. Yesterday was on Identity.

The parts of myself that I just took for granted, my past, jobs I did.
I always felt I was a bit of a 'Del Boy' when it came to jobs. I worked in about 20 different shops in town and eventually fell into the restaurant business.
Working as a waitress then all the way up to management over 5 years.
It wasn't where my passion lay and looking back I don't particularly think much off it or that it was a great time in my life.
I was always trying to fit into a round hole with the square peg of my life.
Actually looking back I remember how hard it was, what a bad place I was in and how my personal life was such a screw up.
But I stuck at it as I needed the money and got pulled into late nights and early mornings working my ass off and not getting paid half the amount I should have.
One thing I did learn and love in all my years of service was how to cook and bake.

All this aside the other day I got asked to head up the catering for a new Alpha course.
Whoooah how amazing is that?
Without all my years of training in an area I fell into, I would not be in this position.
You see God always knew what he was doing when it came to my life and jobs.
He knew that right now, I would be in a position to help others know about him by loving them with my cooking.
I have also been asked to make a friends wedding cake.
Another chance to love others with my baking.

I am not saying that I want to go into cooking full time. I don't think that is really where I am called.
But certainly, loving others with my cooking is a part of my Identity and I really love it.

You see God has called me out of the boat with this one and I am willing to do what it takes and come into all that he want for me.
I never ever thought that I would be using my cooking for the glory of the Lord. But here I am, saying yes and doing what needs to be done. Because I love it. And I love my Lord and Saviour.




 

Awake at 4.24 and unable to sleep

I feel unsettled, a little sick, dizzy and shaky.
I think the last couple of days have taken its toll on my body and mind.
I have missed my time with Jesus and as I have been lying here I have really been thinking about his love.
I need to absorb more and see myself as Jesus See's me.
My mind is racing. And I just can't switch off.
I also think I'm a little dehydrated. Which doesn't help with my mind and thoughts.
I am listening to kirk franklins imagine me on loop. A powerful song and a great reminder of his love for me.
I feel out of the loop being away for 2 weeks.
I have missed fellowship.

The great thing about a holiday is you have time to think.
This I have lacked when being bogged under with daily routine.
All the baggage is left at your front door as you step out on your two week journey.
Obviously it takes a few days just to unwind and try and relax, but when I did it was bliss.
I am going to make a few changed now home.
And it's good to be home.
To sleep in my own bed. (Not that I'm sleeping)

First thing i am going to do is have a huge clear out.
De clutter
Spring (summer) clean
Breath some fresh air into our house.

Living with just a suitcase reminds me of how easy it is to live with little and how I just don't need 'stuff'

Second I'm going to learn Italian as I am going to Rome in January for my birthday.

And then after that. Who knows but I really enjoyed reading some books again whilst I was away.

My flight over

At so many thousand feet, high above the clouds, looking at the beautiful blanket that they make I am reminded of how awesome our God is.
It is every inch beautiful.
I dream of heaven and being able to fall onto those white duvet as soft as goose feathers and as light as the air itself. Like froth from the seashore.
The sweet sticky sickly marshmallow.
The sun light glimmering just above and the sky so blue.
Gods palette is extraordinarily awesome and breath taking.
Just imagine how much more mind blowing heaven is going to be.

Armouring with Swords

I have started on my book - girls with swords by Lisa Bevere

It is a black or white book and I love that and she states that by the end of the story there is hot or cold, strong or weak, emgaged or disengaged, soldier or traitor, free or captive, and hero or victim.

God's word - God Sword

This book is seriously going to arm me.

The little people have got so messy over holibobs that I have had to revert to doing some hand washing.

I don't mind though as I'm stuck inside so I might as well be useful.

I just have to make sure I don't scrub too vigorously and not break out in a sweat due to these little spots that are covering my arms and legs.

I did have a little day dream whilst dunking the clothes under the water and dreamt I was in bible times washing my families clothes in the sea of Galilee.

I imagine that actually it was kinda going a coffee shop with your Ladie friends. A place to relax, chat, while away an hour or so catching up with the latest chit chat.  ( I hate the word gossip, I hate gossip as it can be really damaging like Chinese whispers so we will stick to chit chat)

Maybe a place that they match made, braided others hair and let the children splash around in the water handing off tree branches whilst the husbands are off fishing or what knot.

That simple kinda life sounds good doesn't it!

I get so frustrated with 'stuff' sometimes that it takes a holiday to be able to step back and see a different kind of picture.

A picture that is brought on by washing clothes in a tub.

Growing up, we didn't have a lot of 'stuff', there was a time that my Dad was out of work.

We made up games as we didn't have a hoard of plastic toys to entertain us and this continued  through the years into my early teens.

I used to go shopping with my friend in town. She would have £50 to spend. I would have £5 and buy excessories to jazz up something that I already had.

My mother bought us clothes from a catalogue on a few occasions, it was ace:)

I had blue knickerbockers and a white with blue spotty t shirt. I was so fashionable and totally cool. 

Have little growing up made me appreciate 'stuff'.

I didn't have a hard life. I don't look back and think - we had nothing.

Those little games that my Mother made up for us became treasured memories.

I'm even inclined to call them traditions as I pass those made up, imaginary games onto my own children.

Now that I am older, certainly wiser, married with my own children.  I am careful to always appreciate where I came from.

My husband has a good job and never makes me feel without and doesn't deny us much. I thank god for him and for that fact. He is not stingy but he is careful.

I appreciate what God has given us and never take it for granted.

There are very few things that I hold dear.

None material as you can't take 'stuff' to heaven.

I hold dear -  my relationship with Jesus - God's word.

- My husband and my children

- And my church family.

Isn't that all you need in the end!

God's word

The simple life :)

Day 5

So with heat rash I am confined to the shade and no sun cream. I am totally pissed off. I actually feel like crying but my eye isn't 100% better and I have ointment in it so crying will just wash that all out.
Every time I feel a bit of heat on my left arm it burns like fire.
Seriously if hell is like constantly being on fire, then I am so glad that it is not where I am going.

So here I am lying on my sun lounger under a natural umbrella ing reading my Miranda book, when I glance to my right and BOOB.
There is one lady going topless around the family pool!
Apparently this is ok as it's Europe. Although I think it is totally inappropriate and hoping my kiddies don't glance over and get an eyeful of BOOBIES.
I did ask one of the reps if this is normal and she said yes! I also realised that asking made me sound as if I wanted to get my bits out. I quickly explained that that wasn't the case.

There is a difference between seeing your Mummy get dressed and seeing one {yes one} Lady get it all out at the family pool.
Seriously you would think that if no one else was topless you would have the decency to comply with the majority.
But no!
In a mo the small people are off to a Chocolate (does chocolate have a capital C? If not it should) party and eating enough chocolate to fill a large shoebox and I will be going for a swim with my bikini top firmly in place.
Thanking you. 

Keeping in Check

A little over 3 years ago I had my little boy. And before I was pregnant I had my last dentist appointment.
So you can imagine I was a little nervous upon arriving at my dentist appointment yesterday.
I read in one of Joyce Meyers books that you shouldn't just wait for a sore tooth. You should keep up with your check ups which will prevent getting a sore tooth.
It is making a good habit.
So I booked
And I went
And as it turns out I have really healthy teeth and just needed a little clean, how amazing is that.

It makes me think about praying and having a personal relationship with God.
He wants us to chat to him all the time. Not to just run to him when we need something or are in pain.
Obviously he wants us to go to him about those things too. But he also loves us to come about the small things too.

He delights in us. Wants to share in our lives.

Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart
He is not just our father but our friend too.
Psalm 37:4

He is our friend as well as Father.

No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you
John 15:15

So don't sit there and wait.
Book a dentist appointment now!.

Stay Connected

I have been thinking a lot lately about connection and disconnection. Probably because I have been reading Danny Silks new book - Keep your love on.
It is soooooo good and explains a lot about relationships in general, what type of person you are and what time of person you are living with.

You see God made us to be together - People.
We are not meant to be alone.

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.
Genesis 2 :18

A helper which became Eve.
Obviously there was no instruction manual on how to get along with one another. Although they only had one another so I guess that it wasn't hard to escape.
So not only could they not get away but they had to learn to work alongside one another.

I think that these days we, as man and woman, give up quite a bit. Working along side one another is tough, there is something always to distract, we get tide up with 'stuff' and it is easier to hide than it is to work at getting along. Its also easy to be in competition with one another and not realise we were made with different skills and for a different purpose.

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. - Ephesians 5:28

Adam had already stated this fact in Genesis 2:23

The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones
    and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
    for she was taken out of man.”

Men and woman are not so different after all if we take it back to the beginning. We are made to be one.
Connected.
Not disconnected.

Lets be a connected nation of people.

5 Weeks Until Holibobs

So I am having the usual last minute panicIhaventlosttheweightyet.
Both weddings have come and gone and even though I felt comfortable and happy in what I was wearing, I hadn't lost the weight I wanted.
I am however still ploughing it at the gym even though at a point I as ill and had two weeks off I'm now back in full swing.
In fact yesterday I ran for 10 minutes solid rather than run wall run walk.

The mission is on. I have bought some herbalife powder milkshake thingys which I will make with soya and I am doing them twice a day with my exercise.
This is day two and I am doing ok. Last night I had salmon and soup for dinner. And this morning a shake.
Early days though and I would be lying if I said I wasn't craving everything and I guess it doesn't help watching choccywoccydoodah on the tv. I am not really a fan of chocolate but seem to crave it.

Yesterday I did my whole thing in the gym then headed to the steam room.
God told me that he had missed me.
I  guess I haven't been at my best of late. Things at home are tough, FW finished for the year. I am feeling a little deflated.

DRUM ROLL PLEASE

I got 100% in my final faith works assignment. whoop whoop.
I will talk about that in another post. ;)

Lets take to the river people!.

If God says in his word that he loves the animals. How is fishing for fun a good thing to do?

We have been crabbing which is (in my opinion) extremely fun.
You hang line with raw bacon day over the edge of a dock and wait.
The crabs cling to the bacon, have a little nibble and you draw up the line, pop it in your net and into your bucket with the rest of the crabs.

If you have an opponent then the competition is on! And the race to get the first and most crabs makes crabbing even more riveting.
I had my two little ones with me and the game was boys v girls.
Guess who won?

So crabbing is a sport which doesn't hurt the crabs. No hook in the mouth, just a net and sometimes a little nip of the finger if you get too close.

Crabbing, I think, is a sport that God created to have a giggle. Crabs are funny right?

When getting back from Wales, FaithWorks was on Evangelism and this verse came up -

As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen.  “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” At once they left their nets and followed him.
Matthew 4:18 - 20

So let me combine this stuff.

Crabs like bacon. You can try crabbing with anything else but Bacon is the food that they want the most.
There is no use trying something else.
We as a people need to look inviting to others.
Being up ourselves, rude, not loving or giving, is not inviting to others and not what we are called to do.
To fish, we need to go to where the fish are and be inviting, friendly people that we are.
We are called, as Christians, to evangelise. To share the good news, to welcome people into the Church.


Lets go fishing.

You can’t out exercise a bad diet

So I have been really down on myself feeling really rubbish about my situation and destination.
I am talking weight.
I have also found it quite hard at the gym motivation wise.

So take last week for instance. There I was pounding it away on the treadmill, wondering why I was doing it and really wanting to jump off and do something else instead. My music just wasn’t doing it for me. I wasn’t getting anywhere fast.
Then a Christian tune came on. And without realising it was spurring me to work harder and harder.
I didn’t really think much of it until the next day the same thing happened. I was struggling at the gym, a banging Christian tune came on and the time flew by and before I noticed it was time to jump off and get on the cross trainer.

You see God is for me. He wants the best for me. He put the Marathon in my heart and he is going to help me get there.
God doesn’t just give you an idea and make ‘you’ run with it on your own.
If it’s from God, if he has put it on your heart, then he stands with you and pushes you on.
Yes you will get there. Maybe not the way you expect, maybe with a few obstacles on the way. But I tell you, you will get there.

All I need to do is trust, and obey

There Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; The God of my rock; in him will I trust.
2 Samuel 22: 2-3

From now on, I know that I need my God tunes to keep me going. I can’t do this without him, I know I can’t do this without him and I guess that sometimes I need reminding.

As for the rest. I had a chat with Jodie, my PT. She gave me a gentle kick up the backside regarding my diet.
I have a sweet tooth, I have a really bad sweet tooth. I love sweets and it is my downfall.
Jodie helped me sort my head out, I needed that gentle reminder of my goal through her too.

The chewing gum has been stocked up and I have started to read my new book – Making good habits, breaking bad habits by Joyce Meyer.
Sweets for me is a habit, and it is one that I am going to break with the grace of God.

But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is. And that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.
Hebrews 14: 5-6

Lost days and birthdays

The week before half term I came down with a bug! So no gym.
Half term was 2 long weeks for me. I was itching to get to the gym. I was clawing at my skin missing it badly.
Now 3 weeks down the line I went today properly.
I did 20 minutes cross trainer, 10 mins treadmill, 5 mins rowing, weights, sauna and then 20 quick lengths.
I feel so much happier for doing it even though I know that I am going to hurt in the morning. I also know I really need to crack on with the getting fit as not going to a while has put me back from my goal and made me unhappy.
I feel lardy again, more lardy :(
My aim is to just keep at it and be really strict with it for a while. I will be back in the gym tomorrow morning.

The thing is, I thrive on routine. I need routine. I need to be organised. I like to know what I am doing and when.
I like to drop the kiddies off, go to the gym, do my set, get home, tidy, organise dinner and all the other mundane Mummy jobs.
Don't get me wrong. I can be spontaneous. I am really good at being spontaneous. In fact I used to be great at it. But my husband isn't such a spontaneous person. And I don't have the energy for the both of us.
So spontaneity needs to fit in with family life, with my Mummy jobs, with my organisation.
I am an organised, spontaneous, artist. 

Today is my hubalubbas birthday. I woke him up (with the kids) and presented him with a blue ray player and blue rays. He is one happy bunny.
I am currently waiting for him to come home so we can give him his birthday cake. A lemon curd cake. Here is the before and after the kids decorated it for you to admire. lol

Being organised, I find it really hard to let them touch my beautiful cake. But they enjoyed decorating it so much how could I deny them that. I am sure Daddy will love it :). Tonight we are off out for food. I am going to blindfold him and drive him around for a bit until we arrive at the place I have booked. Just because that's how I roll.

Wise Councel

Faith fails or succeeds according to what you hear. So what have I been listening to?

In 1982 my Uncle P ran and completed the London marathon. I was 8 but I remember to this day how excited I was that someone in my family had done it.
I told myself that I wanted to do that one day.

As the years when on, the dream was shoved aside and buried deep within and forgotten about. I listened to the enemy's thoughts about my weight and size. I was never going to be fit and healthy, so the dream never resurfaced.
You see what you hear and think can release or restrict you in life. Listening to people moaning at me about their own weight and never doing anything about it, was a place that I was in too.

If anyone has ears to hear, let him hear.
Then he said to them, Take heed what you hear. With the same measure you use, it will be measured to you; and you who hear, more will be given.
For whoever has, to him more will be given; but whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.
Mark 4:23-25


That was until Gods voice became louder than any other I could hear. I also stopped listening to negative people, I surrounded myself with positive people, who wanted the best for me. Who were happy for me when good things happened in my life and were there to encourage me when I was struggling.

When I first got my calling to do the London marathon, rather than telling everyone I know, I sort wise counsel.
I have found in my past that as soon as you want to do something, everyone has an opinion.
Now being faith led I know that the enemy would use these opinions to keep me from achieving my goal and being obedient to God.
He will use peoples words to whisper the words of my youth.
You cant do it.
Your too old
Unfit
You will never compete it
Nothing will ever change


Bless the Lord, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless his holy name!
Bless the Lord, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits: Who forgives all your iniquities, who heals all your diseases,
Who redeems your life from destruction,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies,
Who satisfies your mouth with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle's
Psalm 103: 1-5

I love that last bit - so that your youth Is renewed like the eagle's.
To me, that says that all the rubbish, hurtful stuff that I have listened to and heard when I was in my youth, has been washed away and I am renewed like Jesus.

My wise counsel and opinions I have sort first have been my pastors, my senior leader, my husband and my personal trainer.
All are behind me.
I am now in talks about running for the charity I am passionate about Stella's Voice. This is an amazibobs charity and it will be an honour to be able to support them this way -  As I complete my journey.
My PT 'J' is an amazing Lady. The support she has already given me has greatly impacted me.
She has no idea how going to the gym was so far out of my comfort zone when I first started.
Once I have reached my target weight goal she will then set up a training programme for marathon running.
That leaves my Pastors and Leaders. My leader D is going to be running with me. Her testimony is so inspiring to me.
Both my Pastors are amazing. I hope that when this part of my journey is completed that my testimony can go to helping them build the church.

This is all for him! With him and for him.

And the Lord, he is the one who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.
Deuteronomy 31: 8

This is my favourite verse right now. It seems very fitting with my journey.

As the weeks go on I will start telling more people, but I will be sure to only open my ears and hear the wise words.

In The Beginning

About a year ago I was sitting in a room with a few other Ladies doing a Christian shine programme.
My (now) very good friend D was talking about running and getting fit. Looking after your own body and bettering yourself. At that point she was loving running and her future was holding a few marathons.
This was really hard for me to take. My little boy was 2 and I had no confidence in my appearance at all. I felt huge, massive. A large size 16 and kept saying to myself I will do something about it soon.
I was lying to myself.
I walked out of that girlie morning, which is a programme to make you feel great about yourself and like the way you are, feeling angry and disappointed in myself. I actually hated the way I felt about my body. And I was kidding myself if I thought that I was going to do something about it soon.

Like I said that was a year ago.
Since then I got a revelation. I started a bible course which runs for 2 years, that my amazing friend D runs with her husband, and I am renewing my mind. I also joined a gym and am renewing my body.
I have been going to the gym 4-5 times a week. I spoke to a personal trainer and got a programme going.
Now let me tell you. All these things are well out of my comfort zone. Well they were. God has been talking to me a lot, and finally I have the ears to listen.
In a month and half I lost 4 inches from my abs. 3 inches from my thighs and 2 inches from my arms.
Today I had to up my weights for the third time in 3 days as they are to easy.

So why this blog?.
I was on the rowing machine the other day, chatting to God as I like to do. And he brought to mind the London Marathon.
So there I was sweating away, and I texts D.
I wasn't going to but I have been disciplining myself to a 'JUST DO IT' attitude.
"wanna do the London Marathon 2015".
So that's how it started.
After that gym session I went to the steam room. It was empty so I had a audible conversation with Jesus.
The steam room is my favourite place to chat with God. He nearly always reveals things to me.
So I said. "so God, I really need to chat to you about this Marathon thing". 
And he just replied with -
" I have already seen you run it".
That blew me away. The fact that he had already seen me do it confirmed to me that I could do it. And was going to do it!
Since then I had 2 pictures from God.
The first one was me in the middle of the race, running along and seeing people I know.
The second picture was my lying on the floor at the end of the race, looking up to heaven and giving my family and friends in the heavenly realm the peace sign. And they were all cheering me.

So there it is.
I'm a thirty (cough) something, size (now) large 14, with two gawjus little people under my belt. A 5 year old girlie and a 2 year old boy and a husband who loves me.
And in 2 years time. I am going to run and complete the London Marathon.
I hope you enjoy journeying with me.